The social paradox

when finding what you want means losing what you need autonomy connection and why we need both to find happiness

The social paradox

when finding what you want means losing what you need autonomy connection and why we need both to find happiness
William Von Hippel
Book - 2025

Why do people who have so much, leading comfortable lives filled with unprecedented freedom, choice, and abundance-often feel so unhappy and unfulfilled? This phenomenon is a defining paradox of our time and one we endlessly seek to solve. In The Social Paradox, psychologist William von Hippel argues that we need to think about this problem in a new way. By changing our perspective, we might finally see the solution, bringing us greater happiness and more satisfying relationships. The key is to understand the interplay between our two most basic psychological needs, for connection and autonomy. Evolution made us dependent on one another for survival, instilling in us a strong need to connect. It also made us seek autonomy, so our ancestors could distinguish themselves within their groups, improving their chances to procreate and gain status. These two opposing needs are our most fundamental psychological drivers, and while our lives once ensured a happy balance between them, the opportunities of today's world have thrown it out of whack. As von Hippel explains, our modern world no longer demands connection but it provides endless opportunity for autonomy; this lopsidedness lies at the root of many of our most intractable problems. Recognizing this imbalance and working to counter it can drastically change how we make decisions, spend our time, and find happiness.

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Barcode Status Material Type CallNumber
37413322371339 Checked out New Adult Non-Fiction 152.42 HIPPEL
Bibliographic Details
Main Author: Hippel, William von (Author)
Format: Book
Language:English
Published: New York, NY : Harper, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, [2025]
Edition:First edition.
Subjects:

MARC

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245 1 0 |a The social paradox :  |b when finding what you want means losing what you need : autonomy, connection, and why we need both to find happiness /  |c William Von Hippel. 
246 3 |a Social paradox :  |b when finding what you want means losing what you need : autonomy, connection, & why we need both to find happiness 
250 |a First edition. 
263 |a 202502 
264 1 |a New York, NY :  |b Harper, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers,  |c [2025] 
264 4 |c ©2025 
300 |a xxi, 278 pages :  |b illustrations ;  |c 24 cm 
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504 |a Includes bibliographical references (pages 251-265) and index. 
505 0 |a Introduction -- Part I: The human balance. Competing motives ; Why we connect ; Why we need autonomy -- Part II: The major forces shaping autonomy and connection. Autonomous men, connected women ; Connection to the east, autonomy to the west ; Religion redefines autonomy and connection ; Connection to the left, autonomy to the right -- Part III: Off-balance. Cities and the great shift to autonomy ; Education, wealth, and supercharged autonomy ; Marriage and the struggle between connection and autonomy -- Part IV: Rebalancing. Reconnecting in a modern world ; Balancing and rebalancing your life -- Acknowledgments -- References -- Index. 
520 |a Why do people who have so much, leading comfortable lives filled with unprecedented freedom, choice, and abundance-often feel so unhappy and unfulfilled? This phenomenon is a defining paradox of our time and one we endlessly seek to solve. In The Social Paradox, psychologist William von Hippel argues that we need to think about this problem in a new way. By changing our perspective, we might finally see the solution, bringing us greater happiness and more satisfying relationships. The key is to understand the interplay between our two most basic psychological needs, for connection and autonomy. Evolution made us dependent on one another for survival, instilling in us a strong need to connect. It also made us seek autonomy, so our ancestors could distinguish themselves within their groups, improving their chances to procreate and gain status. These two opposing needs are our most fundamental psychological drivers, and while our lives once ensured a happy balance between them, the opportunities of today's world have thrown it out of whack. As von Hippel explains, our modern world no longer demands connection but it provides endless opportunity for autonomy; this lopsidedness lies at the root of many of our most intractable problems. Recognizing this imbalance and working to counter it can drastically change how we make decisions, spend our time, and find happiness. 
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